Something to think about …

by bodyodorpsych

You have a classmate who always smells so bad they stink up the whole room. Or a coworker that just doesn’t know when to quit reeking. And you take offense at that. Offended that they would go to such great means to invade your nasal cavities with their unpleasant stench and hinder you from being as productive and effective a student or worker as you can be. How dare they make your life miserable! You are the main victim in either scenario, and you are the one ultimately suffering because of this, right?

After all, if they could just take a few minutes from their life every day to take a shower, the odor would disappear. But no, they choose to be disrespectful and not give a care about your concerns. Either because they are too lazy to maintain proper hygiene, or they actually enjoy being so filthy. You deserve sympathy. In fact, you are entitled to it. You are also entitled to not having to suffer so much because of something that is not beyond one’s control. I mean, all people need to do to keep smelling good is to use soap and water every chance they get. So why are there people who do not do exactly that?

After lots of thinking, you decide you have had enough. And you make a complaint to one of the staff members about the offending person’s odor. You cannot take it anymore. So you want to make sure that the odor stops being an issue for good. However, the staff member may fail to take it seriously enough and dismiss your complaint. Or they may actually have a brief pointless chat with the offending person about it and end up not achieving anything. It pisses you off even more.

If you did not have hatred for the offending person before, you definitely have hatred for them now. For they are a nightmare to you. You think about them day and night but not in a good way. You fantasize about hurting them for what they have done to you. Or, if you are too nice to hurt people, dream of making them understand just what you have to go through because of them.

But, even with all that thinking, you will not do anything about it. You will not go up to them to tell them their odor offends you. Even better. You will not try to befriend them and see the person behind the odor anyway. You will never accept that it could be a medical condition causing the smell. And you will never get that, maybe … just maybe, that person knows they have a problem and is suffering as well.

Instead, you will just continue hating them because you have already made up your mind that they can control their odor and, therefore, deserve condemnation for not doing so.

Ok, I was mainly being facetious above. So let me be serious now.

Dear friend, your problem is not trivial. I accept that you are suffering because of their odor, but it is possible that they are suffering just as much, if not more. If the odor is constantly there, there could be a medical reason for it. And even if there are times when they do not smell, it could still be a medical condition behind it.

Of course, it could be some other factor causing the odor. Factors such as medication, drugs, stress, or what have you. It could be a combination of these factors. It could even be a lack of hygiene after all! However, the fact is you cannot just make the “default” assumption that such a person must be lacking in hygiene because you want a reason for taking issue with them. You have to think rationally about matters like this. And you have to let go of this resentment you may have towards that person.

You are a victim of the odor, but so are they. They are not the enemy. They are your fellow human beings. And it is quite likely that they are hurting a lot. In fact, they may have to live with this 24 hours a day for the rest of their life.

The key is to be understanding. To show love and empathy. And to let them know you are there to support them if they need your help. You may not be able to get the odor out of the way, but you could still learn a lot of good from this. You may not want to be close to that person all the time, and that is understandable, but a little kindness and compassion goes a long way and will make you a more productive person than if you had succeeded in getting them to get rid of the odor.

And who knows? Maybe one day, there will be an effective solution for these problems. Until then, just hope that you do not ever have to suffer this yourself.